A long term relationship as in marriage is very hard. I’ve been married for over 30 years and together for over 33 years. My overall thoughts about long term relationships are it takes the following ingredients to make it work out:
- Communication skills…impeccable
- Knowing when not to say anything
- Believe you were brought together for a greater purpose
- Freedom……allow all expressions
- All emotion is good….but do no harm
- Mutual Respect….try…”no harm, no foul”
- Listening skills
- Sex, sex and more sex….not necessarily with just your body….your mind has to be involved
- Allow….all expressions of thought, ideas, philosophy
- Don’t assume ownership
- Keep your mind open
- A quest for self improvement…..Always do inner work on yourself first
- Let go of blame
- Nothing is as it seems…..we live in our own illusion
- “Check yourself before you wreck yourself”
- See though the obvious….the reality is not necessarily what you see in front of you
- Frustrations usually go deeper than the present event
- Listen to the humor…..it’s usually the truth
- Watch each other’s back without being judgmental
- Compromise….two (or more) people with individual agenda’s need to meet in the middle
- Make a decision…is it worth fighting for? (there’s no wrong answer here) Proceed from there.
Don’t take anything personal, but if you do see it as a sign that negative emotions from past events are resurfacing. What’s happening in the present should not be taken at face value. Past events that created negative emotional responses also created neural pathways to that negative emotional charge surrounding the specific event. When similar events happen in present time it triggers the memory of the previous negative event and therefore the correspondingly linked negative emotional charge. This may translate to why you may “over react” in the present moment. The key is to realize that your current immediate response to an event in the present may be linked to the previously unresolved negative experience.
This is where EFT tapping comes in good use. The cause of all negative emotion is a disruption in the body’s energy system. Negative thoughts create static in your energy system which causes the physical and/or emotional response. EFT tapping works on clearing that static and thereby diffusing the negative emotional charge of a past event. When that happens present negative events will no longer drudge up old negative emotional responses and the way you perceive things change. Current negative events are less negatively charged which allows for more clarity in thought, response and problem solving.
Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation regarding how EFT tapping can help you.